A Will Is Crucial To Your Children's Future

By Neale S. Godfrey For New York Life

Your will may be the most important document you ever create for your children.

Not only does a will determine what happens to your financial assets, it outlines how you wish your children to be cared for until they're old enough to be on their own.

In some states, children become wards of the court if their parents die without a will. And more than half of American adults don't have a will.

If you don't have a will, sketch something on paper immediately or at the very least discuss the matter with a close friend so that someone will know your wishes. You should sign and date your will, have it notarized, put in a safe place and give copies to a trusted relative or friend.

There are books and Web sites where you can get information an how to write a will. Some handwritten wills stand up in court, even if they are contested.

Still, I don't recommend a "do–it–yourself" will. This document is too important to take risks with. The safest will is one drawn up by an attorney who specializes in this area and knows the laws of your state.

A lawyer can draw up a basic will for a reasonable fee. You can also greatly reduce your fees if you know the answers to a few simple questions before you see a lawyer. Here are crucial questions to ponder:

Who will be the executor, the person who sees that your interests are carried out? Obviously this needs to be someone you trust. An executor can be a friend, family member or a lawyer.
Consider introducing your young children to the executor so that if something happens to you and your spouse, they do not have to listen to a complete stranger outline their future.
Who would get custody of guardianship of your children in the event of both parent's death? Again, be sure to tell the children who will care for them if you die.
How will the children be provided for financially? Check to see if your assets and insurance policies are sufficient to provide for the rearing and education of your children. There may be things that you haven't thought of. Suppose the guardian's house is too small to accommodate your children. Perhaps you should provide money to help solve this problem.
How are your assets to be divided? Do you want the child to receive all the money when they reach maturity or do you want to space the payments out? Also, if you want to keep that special heirloom that has been in your family for a long time, think about taking legal steps to do so. If your children give it to one of their mates and are later divorced, your family may lose the item. A lawyer can help.

Discuss your will with your children. Such a talk gives you the chance to assure them that they'll be taken care of should anything happen to you and your spouse.

Your children already know that you have carefully chosen who will take care of them when you are not there after school or out for the evening. Explain that a will is just an extension of that kind of planning.

Don't think that children even as young as 4 haven't wondered about this. Even from the time they are quite young, children hear terrible stories about what happens to boys and girls without parents. What happened to Cinderella after all? This is so important in today's uncertain world.

Still, you'll want to be gentle. The subject of your mortality is not a pleasant one for you or for your children. When the right opportunity opens up — perhaps when the children ask about death — you can take a moment to explain that if you die, they will be taken care of. You can introduce them to the concept of a will.

Children under 7 are probably too young to listen to detailed explanations of wills. They will also need to be reassured that in all probability, the will won't be used until they are grown up.

It should be reassuring to children to know that there is a well–thought–out plan for their future. Make sure they are comfortable with the choice of a guardian and that they understand where they'll sleep, if they will still have their pets and what schools they will attend. These are the types of questions children want to have answered.

With grade–school and teen–age children, you can go into more detail about the will and perhaps even tell them where it is located.

It's important that you review and update your will periodically. Here are some of the circumstances that should cause you to dig the will out of your safety deposit box.

If you haven't looked at it in five years.
If a life circumstances has changed. Perhaps you had children, got divorced, someone died, your finances changed, or you now have grandchildren.
When estate tax laws change. You must have your will and trusts looked at by an experienced estate planning lawyer.
When you move to another state, since laws vary from state to state.
When you buy property in a different state, since it may be subject to the laws of that state rather than the state where you reside.

Neale S. Godfrey is a former bank president and an acknowledged expert on family finance. Her 14 books include a #1 New York Times Best Seller, Money Doesn't Grow On Trees and her latest book, Money Still Doesn't Grow On Trees: A Parent's Guide To Raising Financially Responsible Teens and Young Adults. She has authored an educational program called The One and Only Common Sense/Cents Series which corporations are donating into their local community schools and after–school programs. Neale has appeared on TV on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Good Morning America, The Today Show, CNBC, NBC, CNNfn. She frequently delivers lectures on "How to Raise Financially Responsible Children." For more corporate marketing programs, products, and books go to Neale's Web site www.childrensfinancialnetwork.com or call 908–879–8898.

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