What Grieving Teens Want Parents to Know
The below list was created from bereaved teens at Comfort Zone Camp in 2008.
- Don’t say “I know how you feel”
- Don’t say “everything will be okay” – be honest
- Don’t say “your [insert person who died] would have wanted this,” it instills guilt
- Don’t make us talk
- Be considerate of our emotions
- Don’t pretend that the person who died was never here, help keep the memories alive
- Explain your feelings and grief to us too
- Moving and changing schools means having to tell our story again, to new people
- Remember that we are still kids — try not to give us the duties of a parent
- Get the details on health-related deaths to help prevent it in the rest of the family
- Realize that every kid reacts differently, we’re all individuals
- Acknowledge the anniversary of their death, find something the family can do together
- Don’t force counseling — let us grieve on our own terms
- Help us and our little brothers/sisters ease into life transitions, and be patient
- Don’t date or remarry just to try to replace the person who died
I’d like to invite teens to add to this list – what else do you want parents to know?
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