4 conversations to have before your grown child moves back home.
Living with parents after college or at other times during adulthood has almost become the new normal—with research showing nearly one in three adults who are 18-34 are living at home.1 If you have agreed to let your child return to the nest—whether it's because they're saving for a house, going back to school or needing help with child care—it's important to set some expectations before you start living with adult children. Here are four keys things that may help all involved have a positive experience:
1. Agree on an exit plan.
Most likely, you don't expect your grown child to live with you forever. And while they probably feel the same way, it's best to discuss their proposed time frame to make sure everyone is on the same page. If your child isn't sure when—or if—they will be able to move out soon, you might consider agreeing on a target goal. For example, it could be after they have been working at a new job for six months, or have paid down student debt.
2. Decide on household responsibilities.
Hopefully, you enjoy living with your adult children and may even look forward to having them around the house. However, your patience could quickly wear thin if you find yourself waiting on them or they don't take on their share of household chores. You can avoid the potential feelings of resentment by agreeing on a regular to-do list, whether it's yard work, grocery shopping or house cleaning.
3. Determine their financial contributions.
Although you're probably letting your child move in for their financial benefit, you both may feel better if they make some monetary contribution. This could be in the form of an affordable rent and/or sharing in the bills. Establishing some type of payment will allow them to feel like adults while they're working towards their goal of financial independence.
4. Communicate with mutual respect.
When you share the same roof, you may get annoyed or irritated with each other. But rather than falling back into old “parent-child" roles, you can resolve to communicate more like adults when there's a problem. Remember that while your child will always be your baby, they're now adults and entitled to make their own decisions. If you discuss how you'll handle disagreements upfront, you will likely reap relationship dividends later, even when you're no longer living with your adult children.
Whatever the circumstances, your child's return to the nest may impact your own financial future, including retirement plans, investment strategies and insurance coverage. 2
From moving your kid back in to planning for retirement, life is changing every moment. We can help.